so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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