I cockslap morals
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize