Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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