considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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