Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
