she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
third nipple confirmed
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
