Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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