HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
only you would photoshop your dick
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
