my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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