If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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