We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
