remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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