God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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