just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
