he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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