What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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