I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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