Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize