i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I will be naked everywhere
I have grass duct taped all over my body
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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