I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
