I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
When are your genitals available?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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