Just fell off a train. Bad.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
