...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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