i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
