I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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