You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
