You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
