Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
