someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize