I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
