We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
