Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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