Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
