i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
