if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
God I need to hump something, right now.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
