Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
