No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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