You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
