hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
