party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
