Are we in a gay sports bar?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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