yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
