i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
