Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
