There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
