whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize