Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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