oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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