Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
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She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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