my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
