You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
