And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
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You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
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Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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