mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
