where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
