It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
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And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
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When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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