I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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