Texts From Last Night

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  (319): View more from Iowa

  In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.

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  (319): In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums. http://tfl.nu/weac
  Replies (36) Good night (6950) Bad night (665)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.

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  (419): her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier. http://tfl.nu/ogdc
  Replies (88) Good night (7388) Bad night (1350)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina

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  (201): I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina http://tfl.nu/v35k
  Replies (22) Good night (1449) Bad night (3946)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.

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  (859): we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off. http://tfl.nu/uye4
  Replies (5) Good night (2207) Bad night (869)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.

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  (412): I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go. http://tfl.nu/523r
  Replies (12) Good night (4139) Bad night (1301)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.

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  (270): Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house. http://tfl.nu/zb8n
  Replies (8) Good night (2460) Bad night (1045)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....

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  (806): You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping.... http://tfl.nu/mb43
  Replies (6) Good night (3318) Bad night (1316)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.

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  (404): Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining. http://tfl.nu/2wxu
  Replies (8) Good night (3760) Bad night (541)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.

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  (727): She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it. http://tfl.nu/8d3q
  Replies (6) Good night (1201) Bad night (440)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.

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  (414): Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success. http://tfl.nu/e521
  Replies (3) Good night (1006) Bad night (469)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  As weird as it sounds I would totally be down

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  (847): Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks. (630): As weird as it sounds I would totally be down http://tfl.nu/3ahb
  Replies (8) Good night (1158) Bad night (599)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I had to rip your toilet paper for you...

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  (914): I had to rip your toilet paper for you... http://tfl.nu/xdup
  Replies (3) Good night (509) Bad night (741)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well

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  (+44): The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well http://tfl.nu/us1u
  Replies (2) Good night (534) Bad night (311)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.

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  (617): My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me. http://tfl.nu/up6q
  Replies (2) Good night (972) Bad night (351)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick

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  (580): I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick http://tfl.nu/yhj9
  Replies (1) Good night (263) Bad night (754)

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