okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed