I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"