Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
