hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
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