Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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