OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin