If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize